Quietly in pain.

I had a bit of an accident this week. My shower is double the size of a normal shower, and when moving across it I slipped and fell to the ground. I hit my hip, my hand and the side of my face onto the tiles.

I still went to work that day, but it was a mistake. I had such brain fog, and the aching of my body only progressed. My team were great about it and let me do the easy stuff for the day.

I’ve been at my workplace a fair bit longer than other people. I get constant questions from colleagues seeking advice.  That day I was not in the mood. It is hard for me not to snap at people on a regular day.  I enjoy my own space, privacy and silence.  This is rare in an open office.  Sometimes I groan and roll my eyes, but I do try to be positive and smile through it.  At the end of the day I get to escape to the sanctuary of my bedroom.

I strive to be professional and have a strong work ethic, so I didn’t want to seem weak.  I didn’t want to complain about the pain, and I tried to put in the same effort as I would on any other work day.

I ended up taking the next day off. It was of great help to relax my mind and also my body. My neck and shoulders are still pained. I’ve never been to a chiropractor. I’m totally considering it!

Being in pain, and trying not show it, got me thinking. How many people are in pain on a daily basis? How many people are trying to hide something? Do they try to get about their days but have some thing or someone stopping them?

Do you ever talk to someone and they don’t respond the way you want? Do you get offended? Does it ever strike you that there might be more going on with them?  It might be all they can think about it and trump your anecdote.

Most of the time we are so wrapped up in our own stuff that we don’t notice what is going on with others.

There’s that girl you are partnered up with in science class.  She mutters under her breath when you ask her a question.  You wish she’d just speak up.  It irritates you.  You want to ask for a new partner.   You don’t know about the voices in her head that say she’s worthless, and how she’s thought about cutting herself.

There’s that guy on your soccer team.  You think he’s a bully.  He’s loud and obnoxious.  He says hurtful comments to you and your teammates.  You wish he’d get kicked off the team.  You don’t know that he goes home to an abusive father, and how he’s been hitting him.

Its easy to make snap judgements about people when you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.  If someone seems indifferent, aloof, or even rude, try to take a step back.  It can be hard to not take it to heart.  Remind yourself; this might not be about me.

This person does not want you interrogate them about their feelings.  They want space.  Give it to them.  You might think a text message is less pushy.  Make sure there is some breathing room before you hit send.

Don’t forget about this person.  Keep them in your thoughts.  Compose yourself and approach them with open end questions.  Let them open up to you.  Everyone wants someone trustworthy to talk to.  That makes them feel safe.  If you can be that to someone, you have lived life well.

To those of you who identified as the misjudged, remember, you are not alone.  If you have the courage, please speak up.  Believe me, I know that part is tough.  If you don’t know who to talk to there is always the Want to chat? tab.  I will help you to the best of my abilities.

Or we can chill out and talk books.

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