I didn’t date in high school, and wrote love stories instead. I have to wonder whether this messed with my idea of relationships. I have found I can write better romance than I have ever experienced in real life.
I’ve had several boyfriends over the past seven years. All lack-lustre in the romance department. Being a hopeless romantic dreamer, I always thought that my guy would surprise me a grand gesture. He would have a master plan laid out for a fabulous date. Never happened.
As my dating life progressed I started giving hints to the person I was dating. Just ideas to give our relationship some magic. I’m not exactly subtle, and it still fell on deaf ears. C’mon guys! I then went the whole slog of telling a particular boyfriend a step by step plan. It could have easily to whisked me off my feet and romance the pants off me.
I also make it quite well known that I love surprises. Frickin’ love ‘em! Had a boyfriend who said, “I was thinking of coming over and surprising you, because you thought I was out of town, but I might just drop by later.”
What the hell?? Why wouldn’t you just go through with the surprise? I would have been completely thrilled and you would have won so many brownie points.
Honestly, relationships just make me depressed. I put in so much effort. I am a lead by example kind of person. I would surprise my partner with little presents, a note on the fridge, or a random visit. You know, put the seed in their heads so they begin to think of doing it for you. I hate when girls think it should be all about them and they don’t do anything for their boyfriends. That is so selfish. But, apparently, I haven’t been enough for someone to want to put in the effort.
I am happily single now. I feel mushy and gushy all the time like I am in love, because I write it into a story. And I can double dip because I have Brittany’s love life and Charli’s love life. Both have their ups and downs, but for my own sanity I’d rather wrapped myself up in their dramas then create my own.
Feeling not good enough by someone else’s standards is not part my mantra. For the time being I am done with relationships. Has been officially a year now. I am most definitely open to love, but not looking. If that someone special came a long, I’d grab him wholeheartedly. With my track record, I’m just not fishing anymore.