This week I have felt like I wanted to watch a sad movie and cry everything out. It has been one of those weeks. Absolutely crazy at work. I’m not exactly sad. Just stressed. When I’m stressed my back tenses, I clench my jaw and as a result I get neck pain and headaches. I’m exhausted.
I had a teacher who told me she would often cry to release tension. We lived in a country town, and she said she would escape into one of her back paddocks. When no one was around she would scream or shout whatever was on her mind.
It was an interesting concept to me. It made it ok to feel your emotions. And also helped me see that crying wasn’t part of depression. Crying can lead to happiness. Have you ever been crying and in the end begin laughing? You’ve let out all the emptiness, hurt or anger and let in room for your endorphins to kick start.
I realised this week, when I began to think about wanting to cry, that I actually haven’t in a year. I cried the last time I broke up with someone. After that break up, I made a conscious decision not to enter into another relationship. I let go of some of my self doubt and putting myself down. It Is also when I began writing again after a long hiatus.
I gave up something linked to my anxiety. I picked up something that is my greatest passion and gives me so much joy. Even though it is damn hard writing a book sometimes.
I still have days where I’d be lonely, or a day that I want to give up on writing. But those days are minimal compared to the good days. I keep working on my positive outlook. Keeping accountable through this blog has done wonders as well.
I still haven’t actually cried. Most of the times when I want to is on the bus to work or in my office at work. Both situations would be way too embarrassing and awkward to start sobbing, right. When I’m home, I’m usually so relieved to be in silence and privacy, that the thought of crying is furthest from my mind. But I’ll keep it in my back pocket for when I need that release.
So please remember, it is ok to cry. It does not make you weak, it will make you strong. You are taking control of your emotions. You deserve to feel good.
Do you have anything you do to relieve stress? I would love to hear your methods.