Something really weird happened. Ok, so it wasn’t that weird, I just took note of it. One day this week, I got out of bed and walked into my living room and noticed how dark it was for 10am. (Yes, I get up at 10am… sometimes closer to 12pm… what of it?) I opened the blinds and looked past my balcony to the gloomy, grey clouds overhead. I smiled at the mood outside and turned to fire up my laptop.
I spent that day working on a marketing plan for my book release which will happen later this year. Throughout the day it would rain on and off. Watching rain is one of my favourite things to do while writing. It sets a mood which lines up well with the feel of my books, chill yet sullen. I had a productive day and came up with a lot of great content ideas for this blog and my youtube channel.
The next day when I got up (around the same time) light was streaming into the living room from the edge of the blinds. I felt my body slump. I trudged to the blinds, lifted them, and frowned. I said to the sunny, pleasant sky, “Oh, you were such a nice day yesterday.”
Take a moment to think that over. Usually it’s reversed, right? A sunny, warm, spring-like day is usually welcomed with open arms, but to me, it was a disappointment.
I’m not sure if it was something subconscious that makes me feel guilty for being indoors when it’s sunny. That thought never last long, because frankly, I am not an active person. Perhaps there is something to that. When it’s gloomy and raining, it’s my get-out-of-jail-free-card against people in active wear looking down their noses when I spend time at my computer creating stories.
Once I took note of my reaction to these days, it did send me to think about how weather affects my mood. It was interesting to tie in other people’s expectations on how I should live my life. It stems from childhood, when all I wanted to do was stay indoors and create story ideas to write. My childhood was filled with music lessons, dance lessons, karate lessons, hockey practice, hockey games, and homework. But, believe you me, I did fit a whole heck of writing into my weeks.
Now I’m at a stage in my life where I set the rules. I made a decision to quit my job. (A decision that every now and then scares the living shit out of me.) I made a decision to dedicate my life to writing. I made a decision not to date. To not have children. To focus on me. Think about how often people comment on that. Aren’t you said by yourself? Don’t you want someone to share your life with? Wouldn’t you be happier in a relationship?
Please, I got a billion people in my head, I’m good.
To be perfectly honest, I love my life. I’m still building up to my ideal life. A life where I am a full time author and there is a legion of fans who love my series, but everyday I’m working towards it. I’m happy, and gloomy weather makes it better.
Which is it for you? A picture book, classic sunny day? Or, weather so dark it creates visions of trolls under bridges? Whenever I see trolls I am deliriously happy.
Remember, if it’s not fun, don’t take it seriously. We are all just a lunatic writing a book.